Forgiveness is a systematic and focused process through which a person foregoes the feelings of resentment and revenge. It is not easy to forgive, and at times, it takes the intervention of a third party to influence forgiveness. However, true forgiveness is a personal decision that comes from within and cannot be brought about by a third party (Enright, 2015). In order to be able to forgive, one has to indulge in a process referred to as compassionate empathy. Compassionate empathy is the process of gaining a better understanding of the offender and trying to identify factors that might have pushed them to offend you.
I have had a hard time forgiving my mother. She abandoned me at my grandparents’ home when I was very young. She went back to town and started an affair with another man, only to break up with him a decade later and come back home. I suffered a lot due to her absence and behavior since my grandparents were elderly and unable to offer me the best care.[“Write my essay for me?” Get help here.]
By carefully looking at the life that my mom had lived from her childhood to her relationship with my dad, it reveals crucial experiences that might have led her to offend me. As a child, my mother and her siblings were abandoned by my grandfather. Her parents (my grandparents) were in constant conflict, and she witnessed much violence in her formative years.
During her twelve years of staying with my father, violence was part of her daily life. My dad was an aggressive individual who at times came home drunk and criticized my mother for being lazy. As such, I feel that this violence during mom’s formative years and the failure to get love and care both as a child and an adult could have led her to abandon me.
Hello, thank you for your post. You stated in your post that your offender who was a close friend was pushed by childhood experiences to offend you. She was a person who went through repetitive hurt and got used to it. It is possible, just like you stated in your post, that it is this pain that pushed them to offend you. They might not have meant to, or it might not have occurred to them that they were hurting you. According to Enright (2015), gaining an in-depth understanding of your offender and the context under which the offense occurred is a precursor to genuine forgiveness. After seeing the need to forgive a person, taking the time to identify possible forces that might have pushed them to offend justifies the need to forgive them. Without gaining this understanding and justifications for the offensive behavior of the offender, victims of injustices remain resistant to forgive, and they are unable to let go of feelings of anger (Chapman, 2008).[Need an essay writing service? Find help here
Hello, it is nice sharing your personal experience relating to hurt. Compassionate empathy is the deliberate attempt to gaining insight as to why an offender might have decided to offend. In order to gain such an understanding, it is important that a person digs deep into the offender’s life and focuses on life experiences in their lives that might have pushed them to offend. Enright (2015) writes that most of the offensive people in the world are driven by various factors or prior experiences. It becomes difficult for people to forgive if they do not indulge in compassionate empathy. Failure to look at the offense from the offender’s perspective reduces the need to forgive.[Click Essay Writer to order your essay]
Chapman, G. (2008). Anger: Handling a powerful emotion in a healthy way. Chicago, IL: Moody Publishers.
Enright, R. D. (2015). The forgiving life: A pathway to overcoming resentment and creating a legacy of love. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.